Looks like election season is about to open again, so thought I'd sharpen the old pencil stub and jot a word to you folks what want me to vote for you.
First off, don't be making none of those silly pledges to that Norquist fella; heck, he can't even vote for you. 'Sides, that kind of hogtied you last go-around so you didn't get much done.
Also, don't be spending folks' hard-earned dollars to hire some city slicker PR outfit to make ads for you. Those folks are slick at takin' a kernel of truth and makin' a bucket of hog manure. When I was a young'un and helped my daddy clean the hog barn, we had to take a bath. As he said, if'n you muck around in hog manure some sticks to you. Can't rightly vote for nobody what smells like hog manure. And us country folk are purty good at knowin' hog manure when we smell it.
Also, don't be tellin' us what's bad about the other feller. Jest tell us how you're goin' to help folks get a decent job and make a decent living. My momma taught me 'taint nice to say bad stuff 'bout other folks. Like she said, 'taint Christian. Bet your mommas told you the same thing.
And 'nuff already with these amendments; looks like you're tryin' to fix sumpin what ain't broke. Jest work on gettin' folks back to work and gettin' us out of the hole and don't be botherin' with all that other stuff. Well, guess I spoke my piece.
Jest an ol' country boy.