Seminar assists community in helping returning soldiers adjust

WILLMAR -- Elaine Boyd's 23-year-old son, Zachary, will be coming home from Iraq this summer, about four months later than expected.

The Willmar woman gave a heavy sigh when asked about news that 3,000 Minnesota National Guard troops, including her son, were having their deployments extended.

"It's been a blow," said Boyd, who was quick to add that she and her husband, Kent, are "very proud" of their son.

Boyd was one of about 100 people who attended a 2½-hour seminar on Monday at Roosevelt Elementery School in Willmar. The seminar is part of the Minnesota National Guard's Yellow Ribbon soldier reintegration program.

Boyd said she attended the seminar to find answers for how to make sure her son, a 2001 graduate of New London-Spicer High School, adjusts to his new life when he does return home.

That concern is also being felt by the co-workers of Jason Hultgren, the technology instructor at Roosevelt who is currently stationed in Iraq and has also had his deployment extended.

The staff at the school wants to make sure they respond appropriately to Hultgren to make his transition into civilian life easier, said Patti Dols, principal at Roosevelt.

The workshop "gives us the skills and knowledge for when Jason comes back," she said.

The seminar was organized by the school as part of the teacher in-service that was held Monday.

About half of the participants were teachers, said Dols, with community residents making up the difference. Teachers also wanted some guidance on how to help students whose parents were deployed.

Sometimes those children can come to school bearing the stress of an upset family, said John Morris, a chaplain with the Minnesota National Guard.

While soldiers risk being harmed or killed every day in Iraq, the family members who are at home are also "in the fight" and need support from the community, Morris said.

Having deployments extended for another 125 days means the fight will have to go on even longer on both ends, said Morris, who has been helping soldiers and families deal with the "shock and trauma" of the extensions. "This is a long marathon for them."

Using the analogy of a canoe that is constantly being "rocked" whenever a soldier leaves or returns to his family, job or community, Morris said some people are paddling a canoe that's half full of water. "They're barely making headway," said Morris. Word that deployments are being extended is like another wave that's just the canoe, he said. "They don't know how long they have to keep paddling."

He estimated that each soldier's absence and return affects about 60 people. When 3,000 soldiers return to Minnesota "a tsunami is coming to your town," said Morris.

Jonna Miller, a staff sergeant with the National Guard who works with families as part the reintegration program, called children, parents and spouses of deployed soldiers "heroes" who need community support during the soldier's absence and return home. She said it can between six and 18 months for soldiers and families to readjust.

Miller said she and her husband are still making adjustments after his return home from Iraq a year ago.

Counseling is available to help families adjust to the changes. Morris said the University of Minnesota Extension is in charge of a program called "operation military kids" that designed to help children whose parents are deployed.

Morris provided tips on how to make it easier for soldiers to return to their home, job, church and community. "Welcome us home, affirm what we did for you, support us with patience, encourage us to reengage and give us opportunities to succeed."

He also advised not to ask soldiers if they killed anyone while on duty and not to talk about the politics of the war unless the soldier initiates it.

Aundrey Sanchez, who works for the Minnesota Veterans Affairs office told about the problems he experienced when he returned from his stint in Iraq. He said the transition is not easy for a soldier to live in a place where "people want to kill you" and then be expected to jump back into normal family and community life within a matter of days.

Making a community aware of the potential troubles a soldier experience, and how to respond appropriately to the soldiers, will "make sure what happened to me, won't happen to them."